Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby- A Cornish Film Festival Retrospective

Well Cinephiles, thats the another fine mess we've finished with.

Must say this was the first film festival id ever actually been to, and to be writing about the thing it makes me think of being thrown to the lions. But in place of lions we have a strange, squat man with an unfeasibly high waist-band, while a woman decked head to toe in brown hippy clothing, speaking the wonderfully growing (and possibly pointless) language of Cornish. Frankly I'm thinking Leo would be a piece of piss after having to sit through that, but then maybe im being retrospectively bastardish... which in all fairness is quite probable.

Gotta say the festival felt a bit "Cornish or GTFO", but then i suppose they are their own country (why?) with their own language (double why?). So yeah, I can hear all of you out there going "oh but Chris what was the standard of production at the festival?", well young children and people who have the minds of small children (maybe in jars) it wasn't a bad spread. To be fair though whatever person thought showing the contents of a portaloo and poorly conveyed sexual congress combined with a girl I wanted to smack two lines in, should be forcibly removed from the profession of director.

Honorable film mentions must go to two films, the Cornish production of devil in your kitchen thanks the face of Philip Schofield, and the film with the best introduction of the whole festival- Diary of a Bad Lad, but thae stories related to that are not of this blog, maybe later once ive finished working on it.

Finally thankyou to the providers of free wine throughout the festival, you saved me large amounts of money and gave me a rekindled love of Tortilla chips, banging!. But seriously the most pissed person at the party and who do they choose to interview? I imagine my thoughts were far from sensible. Probably along the lines of "If Cornwall wants to be its own free state why doesnt it just raise a rabid monkey army and invade Devon?", not ideal when asked about Uni policy but fuck that for a game of bollocks (thanks Neil Morrisey for that one).

And for anyone keeping track thats a lot of thankyous, my inspiration goes firmly to the clap heavy (ooer missus) final celebrations, ill always try to forget you *salutes*

For now im off to collect my thoughts and eat fishfingers

Grims and Fairys

Chris